Usually life is busy and I fritter my days away worrying about trivial things like getting dinner on the table and having enough clean school t-shirts. In the past few weeks I have been having trouble sleeping through the night, a sure sign of anxiety. There is change in the air and conflict all around. I think I am unsettled by current affairs. It must be because my life is good!
The war in the Ukraine seems terribly close, extremists from where I live take their twisted convictions to fight in far flung places, the Midlde East is once again exploding..... I find it difficult to judge if the world is going to pots or if the all permeating constant news coverage is making it appear so.
And as if this worry about the downward spiralling state of the world wasn't enough, the country I have chosen to be my home is gearing up for a big decision. Monumental is maybe a better word? The people of Scotland will vote next week if Scotland should become an independent nation or if it should remain in the Union, the United Kingdom of Great Britain. The referendum campaigns on both sides are playing with peoples' emotions, they are painting a bleak future and accuse each other of fear-mongering and lying. It is rather difficult to keep a clear head. Talk about the referendum is everywhere and not an hour passes with at least one mention of the upcoming decision day. On the telly and the radio, in the papers, on the playground, in shops, on social media, everywhere. I am quite frankly tired of it all and look forward to move on, no matter what the outcome of the referendum will. Because this is what we have to do and only time will tell how our future will be affected.
What I find most difficult to understand that there is so much talk of "us" and "them". Who is "us" and who is "them", and why, and where to I belong?
I am a foreign national in this lovely country but I am allowed to vote. I have heard more than once that it is not the place to of people like me to decide what is good for Scotland, presumably because my family tree does not go all the way back to Robert the Bruce. I find this offensive. I consider myself a valuable member of Scotland's society, and have been living here since 1998, it is my home and all my children were born here. I have no intention of moving away, unless maybe to a nursing home in France when I am eighty, for the warmth and wine. I do very much think that it is my right and my duty to participate in this referendum.
I have sent off my ballot paper a week ago. I have voted to remain in the Union if you want to know. I will happily embrace independence if this should be the outcome next week because the world will continue to turn no matter and we'll have to do our best to look after this premature baby.
In the meantime there is plenty to distract me. I am awfully busy today. I have a GP appointment for one child, another one has been vomiting, there is a Birthday dinner to plan and cook and a Birthday party to prepare for. A dinner party (evening wear compulsory) for Annie and her friends, followed by party games. Yikes. Wish me luck. If I am not catching the sick bug I will almost certainly collapse on the sofa on Sunday. Have a great weekend. Cx
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